today in the office

i'm in my office and there's this strange noise coming form the bathroom. the noise is like a gurgling sound, a bubbling that just barely echoes over the concrete floor. the dog raises his head and cocks the proverbial ear, decides it's nothing worth getting up for, goes back to sleep.

great. i get up and go investigate.

the noise is coming from the toilet bowl. those of you who know me know that i have a colorful past with all things toilet-related (i know there's a snappier adjective than "toilet-related", i just cannot come up with it-get off my back) so it is not without some bit of apprehension that i lift the porcelain cover off the back of the john to witness...

***

the thumping over my head infuriates me. i know damn well it's the cat dropping from kitchen counter to floor after a leisurely stroll through whatever comestibles that might have been left on the counter after the morning rush to get the family to their respective destinations.

i know that if i get up and investigate, i will be met with nothing more than a pair of alien eyes behind a paw licking mouth that has the faint odor of egg and toast.

fucking cat. if i lived somewhere else it would have been breakfast as opposed to stealing it.

***

looking forward to spring. open some windows. appreciate the fact that everything is moving up to the light again.

***

phone rings, knee jerks, even on vibrate it's like a push from behind from the person on the subway that should never be allowed to stand that close to you. the idiot on the escalator that has to be in front. the next car behind you and every car in front of you. the well meaning change scrounging octogenarian two customers up in the only open checkout lane at the market and it's three a.m. and your kid is at home coughing up a lung instead of dreaming about scooters and pokemon cards.

better answer it, it might be important.



geo